1. hi hello HAPPY NEW YEAR!

still saying it, can't stop, won't stop

I know, I know. It’s January 6. Like, enough already?

Sorry, but no. Not in my house.

I don’t know what exactly comes over me when the clock strikes midnight on January 1, but I practically shout “Happy New Year!” to every human I see for approximately two full weeks afterwards. I cannot help it. I absolutely love a new year and always have. That feeling of a clean slate and fresh analog planner is irresistible, even if I almost certainly abandon said planner by March. That’s generous, it’s typically February.

Whatever, there’s always the will to try!

THIS is the one I’m working with so far — it’s called Clever Fox — largely because you can write the dates in each week so if I miss one, I don’t feel like a total piece of shit leaving tons of empty pages blank when I inevitably pick it back up months later in September to recapture that special back-to-school feeling.

I also obviously liked the name and logo.

So, anyway, hello — this is a newsletter. How vintage. But to be honest, I really don’t see myself going down the TikTok rabbit hole. It would have happened already and sometimes it takes everything I have just to do the random Instagram story. I mean, never say never, but I just feel at home with a good old-fashioned BLOG. So thank you for subscribing, I hope it lives up to your expectations, whatever those are.

Now let’s get to the promised goods for the week…

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READ

Umm, I loved this. Very propulsive, very creepy and quite twisty. I knew something was coming, but not exactly how it would go down, which was very very fun. Lately, I feel like when I’m watching or reading a thriller, I can kinda see what’s coming so this was a nice change of pace.

Not to brag or anything, but that’s just how it’s been recently.

Anyway, I thought The Last House on Needless Street totally lived up to the hype.

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WATCH

Wowowowowow. Olivia Colman, Jessie Buckley and Dakota Johnson are all fabulous in this harrowing little movie about mothers and daughters! I was not expecting it would be so suspenseful, but it really was. I recommend watching holding a little glass of red wine and a cozy candle going with no interruptions.

While there wasn’t a ton of humor involved, I did laugh out loud every time Olivia’s character looked aggrieved by others’ mere (often boisterous) presence on her holiday because I often share the same sentiment. Don’t we all just want some peace?!

Umm, Netflix is killing it with some of their original fare! I knew The Power of the Dog was going to check a lot of boxes for me — it’s a western, Jane Campion, Kiki Dunst, like, it was imperative I instituted “Croft Cinemas” in our home, which basically means my husband and I turn off the lights, put away our phones and aren’t allowed to chat during the movie, like we’re in a real theater. Except it’s better because our dog gets to snuggle with us on the couch.

Loved this one, top to bottom, and even though I knew what was coming by the ending, it was really fun to track all the clues and go on the journey. Also, the vistas, guys. THE VISTAS. It’s a beautiful film to look at.

Yellowjackets is worth the Showtime subscription. I know! You probably don’t have one. Who needs another streaming subscription? Nobody. Well, except you, if you don’t already have Showtime to watch Yellowjackets, a show about a girls’ soccer team in the 90s whose plane goes down in the wilderness and they have to survive somehow.

What can I say about this completely original and weird and wonderful story?! 90s queens Juliette Lewis and Christina Ricci are phenomenal, but Melanie Lynskey is really stealing the show. The flashbacks are beyond suspenseful — and sometimes very funny — even though they are in such fucking trouble and I really don’t know what’s going to happen, even though we know some of them get out of there because we know them as adults. The music is startling and great, the humor is sharp and much-needed, and I don’t know, the trauma of being a teenage girl is just FRONT AND CENTER the whole time. It’s fantastic and everybody should be watching and I suspect they’re not, which is just insane to me.

GET. ON. BOARD.

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BUY

God. What didn’t I buy this holiday season? Anyone else blackout on Black Friday and buy all of the things? Oops, part of the fun, it’s the holidays, “put it on my tab” as some might say.

I’ll present a few highlights of varying price points:

This DUO eyelash glue is on another level. I have tried many a glue for lashes and they almost always end up busted by the end of the night, at least one end flailing in the wind, looking like actual trash that fluttered onto my face from the streets. NOT with this. If you, like me, love a lash, but hate getting extensions due to the time involved (plus I eventually developed an allergy rendering more of an undesirable Quasimodo vibe) this is your jam. I got it on Amazon for like 8 bucks or something, but I think you can get it pretty much anywhere.

Is there anything more heavenly than a luxury facial mist? Not really. An instant refresh, this is my most treasured one ever, even after being an Avene Thermal Spray devotee for years. My glamorous friend Sheila turned me onto this brand, Afore, and while I like many of their products, the CBD effusive is my favorite. I use it twice daily as a toner post-cleansing and really any time I need a little spritzy spritz. Feels great and smells rich, truly a winning combo!

Hello, is it 1956? Maybe, but whatever. I’m back on the hot roller train, after a brief flirtation in college, because of these babies. The volume, the heat, the glamour of another time and shit, the utter LAZINESS of it all. I’m obsessed. Listen, I still use my bombshell styling wand from time to time, but when I can’t stomach twirling each strand by hand with painstaking detail, I plug this in and they do all the work for me. Plus, you will feel cuter than shit with a whole head of these things on for 15-20 minutes, particularly if you like to swan about your home in nightgowns, slippers and a nightcap in hand. It’s a whole mood.

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OK, I think this went pretty well for a first stab, let’s go off on a high note — see you next week and HAPPY NEW YEAR!